This morning I tried for the better part of an hour to enter the deep inner silence.
“To Thee, my Lord, may I dedicate my life,”
modeling after a Utube video of David R. Hawkins. The mind would start contemplating on the prayer, but soon it subtlety shifted to quiet mental chatter, until I would wake up to it and ‘try’ again to pray and focus awareness on the breath, the heart beat and the very consciousness itself, with little, brief successes, but no real deepening into the Inner Silence. After the better part of an hour, I became aware of subtle tension in my upper body, in my neck particularly. I continued to pray for help to be present. Quietly the awareness arose that the tension was actually my ‘trying.’ The quiet inner Transmission revealed it as yet another kind of strategy, another ego effort to control or have an effect on ‘my’ spiritual growth. Suddenly the deep silence, peace and gentle bliss was there. My body spontaneously convulsed several times, releasing all tension, as the sweet silence deepened.