Most of my life I have focused on improving myself, becoming a better, more spiritual, more conscious person. And also I have been devoted to helping others become better people, more spiritual, more conscious, etc. I am coming into the awareness that this may largely be a diversion.
What I have perceived as ‘wrong’ and needing ‘fixing’ is simply my ego, or better called ‘false identity’. It is not real or ‘right’ in any form, anyway. What is not ‘wrong’ and needs no ‘fixing’ is my Soul.
I am realizing that what is truly needed is to simply stop tinkering with the false identity and just ‘hang out’ with and in my Soul, in its natural alignment with God. Of course the trick is to tell which is ego and which is Soul! Where am I right now? Where is my consciousness in this moment?
As David R. Hawkins says, ‘The mature spiritual aspirant is one who has explored the ego options and false promises of happiness.’ Is that what it takes to be able to make the choice to just drop the ego and be in the Soul?
Eckhart Tolle has popularized the notion of ‘being present’, but what is that? What does it mean to ‘be present.’? I don’t doubt that he is enlightened experience of his Soul.
But if we are just efforting to keep our awareness right here, right now, right in front of us, while fighting off, burying if possible all the conflicting impulses vying for our attention. Isn’t that just more ‘fixing’?
What is delicious is when the Soul just is! When the consciousness within me is free to just be, within, without, wherever. Peace just flows. There is no effort.
Of course the ego does find a way to sneak back in and capture my attention. But so what? It’s tactics are of less and less interest. As they reappear, it is one more opportunity to recognize just how boring they are in their repetitive dramas. Isn’t that recognition necessary to make the choice to let go of the pain of it all and to engage with Soul.
In the end what I want is what Rumi described like this,
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language even the phrase each other
doesn’t make sense.”